the guy from that band everyone is pretending to like this month has been telling people he produced a record he played tambourine on. we have the session sheet. we are not going to print it, because that would be cruel, and because he will do this again in six weeks and we would rather save it.
two separate people have now told us the same story about the van, the gas station outside barstow and the missing drum hardware. the details do not match. one of them is lying and we think we know which.
somebody is going to get very famous this year for being extremely mediocre and we would like it on the record that we said so first.